Congratulations, Dad! You are now responsible for the continuing survival of another human being. This new duty rewards you with no appreciation from your new ward, bodily fluids in places bodily fluids should never be, and the constant nagging suspicion—nay, certainty—that you’re doing everything wrong. You do, however, gain amazing powers, such as: the ability to survive on two hours of choppy sleep, a knack for translating primal grunts and moans into intelligible commands, a heightened tolerance for living in filth, and the capability to pick pacifiers off the floor with your toes while rocking a sleeping infant.
So pick out a name, paint the nursery, buy a bunch of new clothes and toys, assemble the crib, pack your emergency labor bag, and baby-proof your home.
You’re still not ready.
The good news is you’re not alone either. Believe it or not your very own father was once a first-time parent. Chances are you have some friends who were once first-time parents. And now you have me.
What qualifies me to offer you this unsolicited parenting advice? First of all, you found me so it’s not unsolicited, jerk. Second, I have two boys of my own, ages 4 and 1, which means I’ve managed to keep them both alive so far. Go me! I’m not a family counselor, I’m not a child psychologist, I’m not even the world’s greatest father. I’m just a regular guy who has stumbled through fatherhood in a world where resources for moms abound and resources for dads consist of basically not doing whatever Homer Simpson and Peter Griffin do.
I’m far from an expert on anything. Most everything I post on this here blog will be comprised of nothing but my own experiences and opinions, but my hope is that I have some little nugget of wisdom that can make at least one guy’s life a little easier when it comes to being a dad. And if I happen to create a community where men can come together and share more such nuggets (don’t make it weird), all the better for us all.
If you have any comments or suggestions for our next topic, feel free to share. Otherwise, I’m just going to post whatever I feel like ranting about in a particular week.